Janitor Commits Suicide Because You Stepped on His Freshly Mopped Floor

CHICAGO, IL - Remember yesterday when you walked into the train station bathroom? Remember how clean and fresh that floor was? Remember that nice janitor standing there with a mop and a smile? You probably don't. Because you thought nothing of it as you stepped all over that sweet man's work. Freddy Jones knew that being a janitor in a busy station is tough work - the job is never really done. He mops and mops while people trek all over the busy bathroom. But yesterday afternoon, after 22 years of mopping, he thought he finally did it. He thought he finally cleaned the whole floor without anyone stepping on it. And all he wanted to do was stand there and enjoy the miracle, even if only for a moment. But you - YOU! - just had to come in and put your dirty, stinking boot on that pristine tile. You didn't even have to really go to the bathroom; you just thought it'd be a good idea before the long train ride. Well, friend, that was the last straw. You broke Freddy's heart, and last night he drowned himself in his mop bucket, you selfish bastard. Now, let's just hope that lady you let the elevator door close on doesn't slit her throat by day's end.

He had three kids