WASHINGTON, DC –
The ticking clock counting down the minutes to the 12:00AM deadline for
Congress to pass legislation to fund the government’s operations shut down this
afternoon around 3:55PM EST, causing all members of both the House and Senate
to revert back to serving the American people. “I think the clock malfunction
brought us all back to our senses,” said a slightly dazed and confused Speaker
of the House John Boehner (R-OH). “When it stopped ticking, I looked over at
Harry [Reid], and we both realized that the clock is really an arbitrary
mechanism used for political gamesmanship that holds the American people as
hostages. It’s kind of a silly thing if you think about it.” Mr. Boehner and
Mr. Reid then shook hands and agreed that this kind of brinkmanship is
completely ludicrous and emotionally draining for just about everyone. They
then vowed to "forget this nonsense" and get back to doing what the American
citizens elected them to do. “We’re going to get back to work.” At press time
the clock started up again, and Mr. Boehner punched Mr. Reid in the face.
It's counting down their approval rating |
Boehner later admitted: "I'm fuzzy on these digital displays, and when I put the little hand on the five, the big hand just got away from me."
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