LOS ANGELES, CA –
After years of desperation requiring an iron will and saintly patience,
struggling actor Robbie Jones finally got the role of a lifetime in a piece of
shit commercial. “It’s my big break,” said the Julliard School graduate who
came to Los Angeles looking for fame and fortune and will now play the lead
role in a commercial no one will pay attention to. Robbie, who has been waiting
for this moment his entire life, was cast as “Barbecue Guy” who will stand in
front of a grill talking to his neighbor “Neighbor” about the benefits of a new product
that absolutely no viewer will be moved to buy. “I was born to play this role,”
emoted Robbie about the character described as a “white, middle-aged male” who says
such scripted lines as, “I’m telling you, buddy, Mercury’s customer service
rating is 97%!” Robbie, who shares the same training as Kevin Spacey and Kelsey
Grammar, excitedly told all his friends about the late night advertisement that
most viewers will either mute or make fun of. Sources confirmed that Robbie’s
mom is very proud and just knows that he’s “going places.”
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| Look out world! |
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