QUEENS, NY – A local
man dressed from head to toe in leather with multiple piercings and a pitch black
mow hawk terrifies the many passersby who see him on the street, at least until
they notice that the man is walking a three-legged dog, which probably means he’s
a very caring individual with nothing but love in his huge heart. “I was
completely intimated by all the buckles and weird make-up,” said Aaron
Friedman, who was walking back from Chipotle. “I was just going to keep my head
down and avoid eye contact with the freak. That is, until I noticed his dog.
And then I realized that this gentle man is probably just misunderstood, and
lives a life of tenderness I can only imagine.” Melanie Andrews was going to
turn her baby stroller right around to protect her daughter from the monstrous
misanthrope before noticing Spud, the dog with a missing hind leg and subject
of the mutant’s undying affection. “It just warms my soul,” gushed Mrs.
Andrews who then went over to pet Spud’s furry little head before his grisly
owner told her to “burn" for her "sins” and marched away. “Awww, bless his heart.”
Don't judge a book by its eyeliner |
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